PROLOGUE

Across the gleaming Tyne
Some lives about to intertwine
Up from London black guy Ed
Geoff the poet in Gateshead
Two blonde women friendship shared
Kathy K who's quite red haired
And a sparkling host of others
Passing by with some as lovers
Entering the fray without a pause
Here's Kathy K It's now Dance Wars!

REMEMBER MEN

Remember men come in three sizes
Boring, bastards, and belligerent
Sometimes however in their eyes is
Beauty, and they can be quite intelligent
Provided they remember to forget
Five thousand years of dominating it
And stop responding to the codes
Society, and their mum, imposed
And yet their energy attracts
Until your energy their fooling saps
Of your secret life, your hex
They know nothing. As for sex
Can you really trust them?
So is there hope now for these blighters?
Glassy eyed or sharp one nighters
Screwing the world up, if not you
They really don't know what to do
Yet see they beauty in a mirror
Reach out and cut their hand on glass
In love's winter they still wither
You wait sighing as they pass

Kathy K

SECRETS OF THE BOUDOIR

She has stepped out from the shower
Towelled Deodorant rolled on
And now in cami knickers
In case she meets the one
Almost perfect figure
Breast shape meant to please
Tall Brown eyes An oval face
A bra to slightly squeeze
Stockings for alluring legs
Reverses the striptease
Cleanses Moisturises
Puts foundation on
Covering up the blemishes
A little powder here and there
Blusher and eye liner
Automatic Done with care
Brushes on mascara
The lips in fetching red
That might just match her hair
And now the big decision
Which clothes should she wear
The bed festooned with choices
Nothing fits her mood
Eventually rejoices
Quite cool and not that rude
Finally she sprays
Her perfume in the air
Walking through its halo
Descending bridal veil
Was it for herself
Or was it for the men?
All that art of dressing up
To get undressed again

ANGELS NOT ANGLES

I don't understand more's the pity
Why girls who Tetroc are so pretty
So many flowers in this big city
Fuelling the dreams of a Walter Mitty
With such a thesis there is no wrangle
Their hysteresis a strong heart would melt
Most possess the clarity of Angle
Genetically crossed with the delicate Celt
I digress but a matter of fact
St Augustine himself quipped about that
Highly doubtful if England turned Christian
If beautiful girls in his eye were not glistening
So do I dream also by angels surrounded? Dancing and smiling with their dazzling lights
Or have I died? The last trump has sounded
But only in heaven for just Tuesday nights

Geoff

FIRST NIGHT

In the hall two blondes sat
Waiting for some dance instruction
Players going in to bat
They created some distraction
Melba had an hourglass figure
Much admired and the fates conspired
To give blue eyes and a slash of lips
Where passionate kisses might reside
Smart legs A model figure
Added fodder to the sex drive
In short a raving beauty
Who behaved and did her duty
Once in a while
Her companion Catherine
A curvaceous woman
Seemed quiet by comparison
And to the shallow eye
Less a damn good try
But men of experience
Never passed her by
Sensing in her a high
That made her look pre-Raphaelite

It was their first night at Tetroc
Now summoned to the battle
Lines were drawn Men down one side
Women down the other
Each to each potential lover
The big blowsy blonde on stage
Treated her partner like a toy
She'd bedded several of the boys
Half her age but dancing was her lust
Now a hundred people placed their trust
In what she taught for partnered sport
Barking imprecations through her radio mike
Giving hope and 30 seconds before moving on
The girls like merchandise in front of men Permission to touch has made them virgin

Kathy K did not appear till later
Beginners moves not now her thing
The music was dire Some men were appalling
But every Tuesday night she'd try to call in Especially with her love life stalling

- Well Kathy K my beauty
Are we going to pull tonight?
Will some boy scout do his duty?
A much wronged woman put to rights
Hey! Black guy ten o'clock
Is it true what they say?
Or is it just a load of cock?
I'll find out anyway
Damn! Two new girls on the block
Blondes at twenty paces
They're bound to get the men to flock
With those figures and those faces

Yup There he goes
Wastes no time into action
The plumper one's up on her toes
She's smiling just a fraction
Oh No! Flabby hands Here he comes
As though he's doing me a favour
Shall I dash off with the runs?
Or say I'm going into labour?
Well Thank God that's over
He doesn't give a bloody lead
But his piggy eyes go roving
Leered at by a useless weed
Hang on! HE'S coming my way
Stick around looking dumb
Now steel yourself Kathy K
Eye contact Smile Nice bum
Good hands Soft but firm
Dance with decorurn honey
Even if you'd like to squirm
Wow! What was that?
I'm whirled around I'm nearly flat

But at the door there's some commotion
Some guy's trying to get in
Sorry says the door girl firmly
Tetroc refuses their permission
A dapper dark hair weaselled man
With darting eyes and small moustache
Kathy tells Ed sotto voce
What this thing is all about
Weasel man formed rival breakaway
Banned for teaching Tetroc moves
Blowsy woman a control freak
What does banning ever prove
O K so the guy's obnoxious
Both of them stuck in a groove
Dancers should explore all options
Catherine Melba join these two
Plus Geoff: Discussion starts anew
He claims it starts from one same cause
- Blame the muse Welcome to Dance Wars!

DANCE WARS

It's come to my attention God forbid
That certain Tetrocists are on the skid
Dancing around without our permission
Thwarting the aims of a sacred mission
Please note women who've elsewhere raved
Will have their heads completely shaved
While male members moving without approval Now face the chop and instant removal
So don't shop around for your entertainment
Use your brain for Tetroc
We need the payment

Mavis